School Phobia - School Refusal

A school phobic is an individual experiencing social anxiety coupled with a dramatic parenting struggle. This student’s anxiety and panic have reached proportions of terror to the point that a breakdown in normal-legal functioning has occurred. The pattern often consists of the student having experienced traumatic interactions within the academic milieu, which result in the desire to avoid it at all costs. Parents experience their own anxiety, and often guilt, characterized by thinking patterns such as “what will happen if I put too much pressure on my child?”, “Could my child experience a breakdown?”, “Could my child hurt him or herself”? In essence, the student has already experienced an anxiety based breakdown once school refusal becomes status quo. Many school phobics come from single parent families. When two parents are present, disagreements regarding parenting technique are usually present.

Consider the case of Arthur. He was an attractive intelligent 16-year-old and an only child. He loved his computer and would spend many hours daily mastering its intricacies and numerous games.

Arthur had a very big problem. It was quite complex because no one could see it. His parents did not understand it at all. Neither did his guidance counselor or school psychologist. Arthur did not want to go to school. In fact, he was terrified of going to school. The problem did not happen overnight. For many years, Arthur was slowly and surely developing social anxiety. His thoughts went something like, “What are the other kids thinking of me?”, “Am I good enough?”, “Do they think I’m a nerd?”. His underlying fears got so out of hand, that by the time he was sixteen he had a full-blown school phobia. Any attempt to get him to school was met with adamant refusal. He suffered violent panic attacks. He was depressed. He had no peer relationships. His self-esteem was non-existent.

Arthur’s parents disagreed on parenting technique. His father took a tough approach. His mother was very laid back. There was total chaos.

Arthur is now “cured”. This is a true story - as are all those presented on this website.

Learning to stop school phobia is an important step towards living a normal life. Click here to listen to interviews with real people who have resolved school phobia in children.

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