Tel: (800) 248-2034
Ask Jonathan

Daughter’s boyfriend has Social Anxiety

Asked By: Anonymous     Views: 884 times

My daughter has a boyfriend who seems to display all the forms of Social Anxiety. He has not worked for 4 years and stays home and watches TV and is extremely over weight. He is 36 years old and my daughter defends him. I am frustrated because I have tried many things to help including me seeing a counselor about this situation.  The counselor said if the boy friend is  not willing to get help than stay out of the situation. My wife and I always let our daughter that we are there for her but we try not to enable him by offering money or other forms of living assistance to my daughter.

This is a challenging situation;obviously. While there are many manifestations and degrees of social anxiety, your daughter’s boyfriend is at functioning at a very low level. My suggestion is that in a non- critical, non-accusatory, supportive, and loving manner you ask your daughter what her expectations are regarding her boyfriend with such questions as: How do you feel about the state of affairs? Do you think things (with boyfriend’s functioning) will change? If you think things will change, what is your reasoning? If things don’t change how will you feel about that? The key objective here is to get your daughter’s attention. You want her to think about it. The non-critical and loving tone (I believe) is paradoxical. This approach may have more productivity than a critical one which will automatically activate your daughter’s defensive position.

The following is part of a collection of questions and sharing by our readership community about a wide variety of aspects of social anxiety. Dive in and receive practical insights and advice. If you have a question that is not included you can contact Jonathan at jberent@socialanxiety.com.

Relating to these Area of Concerns

Berent Associates, 11 Middleneck Rd. Suite # 313, Great Neck N.Y. 11021
Tel: (800) 248-2034, Fax: (516) 487-7414, E-mail: jberent@socialanxiety.com

Privacy Statement: All information collected from this website, including E-mail addresses, mailing addresses and personal
information, will not be shared or sold. Any information collected through this site will be used by Berent Associates only.