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Need help with fixing Social Anxiety

Asked By: Anonymous     Views: 1,045 times

I think I have social anxiety.  I can never hold an adult conversation with strangers without getting nervous.  It affects me because I never would know what to talk about I guess because I would feel that whatever I say would be looked down upon; I don’t know. I try as hard as possible to be comfortable and relaxed, but for the most part I tend to just stay quiet. How do I fix this. I’m always on the net trying to find wells to help me.

Probably the most common statement that I have heard in 32 years of clinical experience is "I don't know what to say" or "I have nothing to say". The reality is that when individuals say this, their internal excessive critical script is censoring verbal communication. There is a compulsion to avoid taking risks and being uncomfortable in interactive scenarios. The more that you avoid taking the communication risks, the more the process becomes an investment in frustration and anger (whether conscious or not). These dynamics drive the problem along with inhibiting the development of self esteem. I strongly reccommend you get my new book "Work Makes Me Nervous: Overcome Anxiety and Develop the Confidence to Succeed" (John Wiley & Sons). It will put everything together for you.

The following is part of a collection of questions and sharing by our readership community about a wide variety of aspects of social anxiety. Dive in and receive practical insights and advice. If you have a question that is not included you can contact Jonathan at jberent@socialanxiety.com.

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