Resolving Avoidance & Over-Dependence

Listen to our essential, one-of-a-kind, FREE library of clinical interviews which demonstrate life changing success since 1978.
After thirty eight years of clinical experience with thousands of social anxiety patients of all ages I can say, with the utmost of integrity, that one of the primary reasons the mental health community has remained helpless in its attempt to provide productive treatment for social anxiety is the confusion regarding avoidance and dependence. In clinical terms I am addressing DSM V 301.82 Avoidant Personality Disorder and DSMV 301.60 Dependent Personality Disorder.
Jadine, age 20, like Rob, dropped out of art school after a short stint and retreated to her room where for two years she rarely communicated with her mom because of her selective mutism. She spent her days with various pursuits online. She had an online “boyfriend”. She had no friends with whom she socialized in person. She stayed up all night and slept for most of the day.
It will be productive to examine what these individuals have in common.
- Their behavior and personality was avoidant.
- They behavior and personality was over-dependent.
- They had adequate intellectual intelligence.
- They had poor emotional intelligence.
- They did not have initiative for healing or improved mental health.
- Their parents were substantially confused, frustrated, and overwhelmed about the situation.
Detachment is the dynamic of disconnecting from thoughts and feelings. Detachment is the doorway to avoidance! All three patients were very skilled at detachment. Their detachment morphed into avoidance which evolved into social phobia. I have worked with countless individuals who have detached to the extent they live in an alternate and avoidant reality. They have no intention of changing! Concurrent with parental enabling a pathology of homeostasis is created.
As many parents have communicated to me “their child did not come with a manual”. I am in no way condemning confused parenting. I am simply saying that in order for clinical success to occur an empowering parenting methodology must be in place due to the extremely ingrained detachment and avoidance dynamic. Without this, the problem will accrue with time. Parents have substantial empowering potential when using the Berent Treatment Method for Social Anxiety.
Many parents who are challenged with socially anxious dependents had identified shyness in their children at an early age. The biggest mistake that is made is when substantial shyness is observed for a sustained length of time is to believe that the child will simply grow out of the problem. The more that shyness is in place the more potential for avoidant and dependent behavior and personality characteristics there is. The more that avoidance is at play the more potential there is for performance anxiety as there is a void in skills acquisition. It will be empowering for parents to invest in the belief that your most valuable asset is time; to empower or enable.
Think you may have social anxiety?
-
Clinical Interviews
on Avoidance Dependence
The Most Evidence Based Clinical Success for Social Anxiety Since 1978
Treatment Available Worldwide
- Ask Jonathan