Self-esteem is the core issue in social and performance anxiety.
It is important to consider the difference between a person
who says, “I have lost three battles” from the
one who says, “I am a loser”.
Failure has more to do with one's self-concept than one’s
actual unsuccessful experiences.
The person who suffers from social or performance anxiety
misinterprets unsuccessful experiences. Not winning, making
mistakes, rejection, and failing at something are too often
interpreted as a flaw, or an attack on the core of the person's
being. Unresolved, uncomfortable emotions from the past are
activated by “performance” challenges.
Do you think that great homerun hitters like Babe Ruth, Hank
Aaron, Roger Maris, or Barry Bonds are remembered for their
strikeouts? As great a basketball player as Michael Jordan
is, he missed many more shots than he made. Surely Mick Jagger
and Tina Turner missed a few notes in their time. Surely Bill
Gates made a few mistakes…
Self-esteem is a sense of liking yourself, liking how you
relate to others, feeling personally secure, and not having
to prove your manhood or womanhood with external symbols.
Self-esteem Scale
The self-esteem scale below measures how highly you value
yourself.
In the past three months indicate how much each of the statements
represents the way you think or feel about yourself:
| |
Very Much |
Somewhat |
Not Very Much |
Never |
| I minimize my abilities |
3 |
2 |
1 |
0 |
| I expect others to fault my work |
3 |
2 |
1 |
0 |
| I wish I were someone else |
3 |
2 |
1 |
0 |
I make demands on myself
that I would not make on others
|
3 |
2 |
1 |
0 |
| When I succeed I don't think I deserve it |
3 |
2 |
1 |
0 |
| I like who I am |
0 |
1 |
2 |
3 |
| Under pressure I expect things to go wrong |
3 |
2 |
1 |
0 |
I blame myself when things do not work
the way I expect |
3 |
2 |
1 |
0 |
Scoring
| |
Healthy |
Fair |
Guarded |
Unhealthy |
| Score |
0-6 |
7-10 |
11-15 |
16+ |
Your Options- Free Introductory CD
- The book, "Beyond Shyness: How to Conquer Social Anxieties" (Simon & Schuster)
- Comprehensive self-therapy audio CD program for social and performance anxiety
- Public Speaking Anxiety: Self Therapy Audio CD Program
- Therapy in Great Neck, New York
- Therapy worldwide via telephone or Skype
- Selective Mutism Seminar on Audio CD
- "Parenting The Selectively Mute Child": Self-therapy Audio CD Program
- "Social Therapy and the Learning Disabled: A seminar on Audio CD
- Free social-ability questionnaire
- Free "Parent Addiction" quiz
- Subscribe to the Tip of the Month Club
There are many free self diagnostic options at www.social-anxiety.com |