Depression or Philosophy?
Asked By: Anonymous Views: 1,517 times
For ten years, social anxiety has plagued my life, lowering my self-esteem in a relentless cycle of worry, assumed failure, and a slow decline into mental arrest during social and formal speaking situations. I am aware that my ability to think critically and clearly about social fears is affected by my mood, yet when I often return to a state of self-criticism and hopelessness after negative encounters (negative in my eyes), I wonder whether the logic I use to return to that state is based primarily on depression, which although undiagnosed is certainly in affect, or a poorly developed philosophy about life and purpose. For instance, I assume that everything is two sided and that I am incapable of speaking without neglecting some aspect of the topic at hand, which concerns me when I am feeling anxious; I want to be able to say and understand all sides of an issue without input from an outside source, yet I know that I cannot. Coping with this belief that ‘I can never be right because there is no right’ has only brought me further anxiety. Nothing I do is good enough, because no matter what side I take I am not completely right. Let me know whether you or someone you know has percieved their fears in this way. It is a shame to say, but I am not confident in my ability to explain myself logically (for given reason), so ask for clarification if you need it.
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